


You're different

by b0rnbackwards



Series: ACoTaR - Short fics [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Domestic Nessian, F/M, Nessian first kiss, Nessian first time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-25 12:17:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10764117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0rnbackwards/pseuds/b0rnbackwards
Summary: Cassian is trying really hard to avoid Nesta at the Starfall party. Nesta is mostly clueless about it and keeps appearing where he goes. It's not different when he goes up to the balcony to get some fresh air and she does too (only she goes up there to get some fresh drunk Cassian).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooooo I got a little carried away and this turned out to be long! Sorry but not really?  
> This is for @spelt09 and @catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks (Tumblr). They made a list of domestic Nessian and Feysand moments and my fingers were just tingling to play with their first time headcannon, so there you go! Hope you guys enjoy it!  
> I also had recieved a prompt for a Nessian first kiss scene and thought I could make it all into a combo.

It was Starfall. Nesta’s first Starfall ever, and also the first time she attended to an actual party in the Night Court. She seemed to hate Cassian a lot less than she did a few months ago, but she never stopped provoking him like hell. Cassian didn’t think she ever would, and he didn’t want her to. Their little bickering matches took his mind of the outside world, of everything that wasn’t the two of them. Made him pay attention to her, to her cunning eyes and hard expression that always softened a bit when they started one of their insult battles. Mother, she even laughed sometimes, and it was beautiful every time she did it. Once, he even stopped fighting his control and let himself get closer, almost let himself express with words just how beautiful he found Nesta Archeron. But he didn’t. He came close, she looked him in the eyes for a second, like she was going to lean in and kiss him, but changed her mind and pulled away. Cassian knew she wanted it, too. Wanted to kiss him, touch him. He could feel it in his bones every time they were in the same room. But she never made a move, never seemed to accept his advances, so he didn’t do anything. 

Tonight, though, not doing anything proved to be very difficult, because he kept trying to avoid her but she kept appearing wherever he went. Because she looked absolutely stunning, with a dress that showed more skin, without the sleeves she always wore. With her hair, usually put up in a ponytail, was down, covering her shoulders. He wanted to pull it, to rip off her dress, to kiss her all over, and be her undoing. It was all he could think about. He considered not drinking, to keep himself from approaching her, from saying something wrong that would scare her off forever while he was inebriated. But at the second time he had seen her, Rhys and Feyre introducing her to a group of faes whose names he didn’t remember, forcing a fake smile, she had looked at him, up and down and then right in the eyes. The look almost burned him alive, and he needed all the liquor in the party to try and keep her out of his mind. 

It didn’t exactly work. He always changed conversation groups through the party, going from environment to environment, trying to get away from her and that black, sleeveless dress, but she always appeared there, close enough for him to look, too far for him to reach. When the wine first started to kick in, he thought of calling her to the side, talking to her, but didn’t do it. When he was drunk enough to actually think twice about it, he went up to the balcony to get some fresh air. But of course, of course she would go up there too. He was staring at the night sky, his half-full glass forgotten in his hand, when he heard her coming up. He had already memorized how her steps sounded, and sighed at the first sign of them coming in his direction. She stopped beside him and took a deep breath. 

“Hello, Nesta,” he said, trying and failing to sound normal. The wine was starting to wear off, but he was still affected by it, his instincts roaring for him to pull her by the waist and press her side against his. He suddenly felt chilly, almost cold. 

“I hate parties,” was her response. The corner of his mouth curled up a bit. 

“Of course you do.” The second he said it, he  _ felt  _ her roll her eyes. 

“You just can’t have a normal conversation with anyone, can you?” 

“And you’re just pure charm,” he said, not backing down. 

“Well, some of the males in there sure think so.” 

Cassian’s ears and face burned. He almost broke the cup he was holding with his bare hand, but took a deep breath and shoved down his instincts do ask who, to make them regret ever coming near her. 

“And yet here you are with a bastard-born nobody to keep you company,” he shoots back, his playful mask coming back into place. She opened a wicked smile that said she saw right through it. 

“Somehow I find myself enjoying the company of said bastard-born nobody more than I’d like to admit,” she says, and seems as surprised to have said it as Cassian was to have heard it. He does it, then. Puts a hand on her waist and pulls her to his side, their bodies fitting together perfectly. She doesn’t fight it. He looks for her eyes, blue and deep, just like the ocean, and smiles. He doesn’t even know what’s happening when she kisses him. Once second he’s looking her in the eyes, the next her eyes are shut and her mouth is on his, but she pulls away fast, too fast, and turns her back on him. His whole body seems to wake up, his senses functioning better than ever, his mind clear. He leaves the cup he forgot he was holding and uses his now free hand to touch her shoulder. 

“Nesta.”

“I…” She starts, but doesn’t finish. He turns her around and looks at her. Her face is flushed, her eyes looking down. She’s ashamed. 

“Was… Was this your first kiss?” He asks, as softly as he can. She looks down, shutting her eyes. Her arms come up so she can involve herself with them. “Oh. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.”

Her eyebrows shot up, her blue eyes locking him in place,almost freezing him. 

“Why would want to? Why not find a woman who knows what she’s doing?”

“Somehow, I find myself enjoying the company of a fragile former human more than I’d like to admit,” he said, and she snorted, all the tension leaving her shoulders and arms. 

“Fragile? You wish.” 

“I don’t, actually,” he whispered, cupping her face with his hand and kissing her slowly and gently, unlike her rushed first attempt. She smiled, seemed to like it, and so he did it again. And again. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Just do it!”

Nesta was practically yelling. Her body was tense from head to toe, and Cassian was unsure of how to proceed. It had been a few months since Starfall, and he and Nesta had started spending a lot of time together. Alone. 

This was the first time they took off their clothes. Cassian was kissing her neck, leaving little bites around the area, while his hands roamed through her naked body. He stopped dead as she said the words, though. 

“Hey, are you okay?” 

“Look, I’ve never done this before and all I heard is that it hurts the first time. So just do it already.” 

Her breathing was heavy, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the moment, because she wanted it, or because she was nervous. 

“Do you not want to...”

“No!” Se interrupted. “I mean, I do! But…”

“Hey,” he said, kissing her forehead. “It’s okay. We’ll go slow.” 

“It will only make me more nervous.” She said, her face closing up. Cassian smiled, taking his hands up to her shoulders. 

“That,” Cassian practically sang out, “I can do something about.” 

He squeezed her shoulders a little, using his thumb to travel up and down it’s upper part, tracing a line from the tip of the shoulder bone to the curve between her shoulder and neck. She loosened a breath. 

“Let’s just relax, yeah? No rush.” His voice was a whisper, his mouth close to her ear. She nodded her agreement. His hands proceeded to travel down her back slowly, his thumb making circles over the tense muscles, soothing them one by one, like a lullaby. As his hands went down, lower and lower, he kissed her neck softly, going down to kiss her shoulder and back up. He stopped for a second to nibble at her ear, and felt her body shudder. He came closer, her back glued to his chest, and resumed his massage in her thighs. Every time he changed the place he stroked, he bit her. Outer thigh. A bite on her shoulder. The top of her thighs. A bite on that curve between her shoulder and neck. Inner thigh. A bite on her neck. By the time he stopped massaging her, she was already shaking a bit, her breath uneven. He slid his hand from her thigh to the warmth between her legs, and found it wet. His own body, focused solely on her until this moment, shuddered a bit, his length starting to throb. He used his fingers to make slow circles on that spot he knew she would love, and she tensed just for a moment, but he continued carefully.

“Is this okay?” 

She didn’t answer, so he stopped, but only to find her hand on his forearm, clasping it and moving it down. He resumed the movements and she let out a low moan, her head falling on his shoulder. His own moan followed hers, as he beheld her face, her eyes shut and mouth slightly open, her neck bare before him. Nesta was a fortress, and to have her bare and exposed like that…

He pressed his length on her back without even thinking about it, and regretted it as she opened her eyes and the scene went away. 

“Sorry!” 

To his surprise, she smiled, again pushing down his forearm.  _ More,  _ her eyes seemed to say. She wanted more.  

Cassian felt and thought that Nesta would be the end of him as he slid a finger inside her, slow and tentative. As she pressed her back against him and moaned a little louder. He moved his hand as slowly as he could, and Nesta, always impatient, moved her hips against it.  _ Faster _ . He obliged, and once the pace between them was stable, he slid in another finger, almost expecting it to be difficult. It wasn’t. And the moan she let out at his action and the way her nails pressed against his forearm made his head spin. 

“By the Mother,  _ Nesta _ ,” he half said half moaned. Her hips moved again as a response, her moans coming out more frequently. His own hips followed the movement, him not being able to stay still anymore. They kept going, slow and steady, his fingers going in deeper and deeper each time. His brain was melting. 

“I’m ready,” she said, twisting her torso a bit to the side to look at him. Her forehead had little sweat drops and her eyes never stopped moving between his own and his mouth. 

It didn’t take more than a second for him to grab her by the waist and help her lay down while he adjusted his own position to lay on top of her. His entire body tingled, seeming to sing a song as his skin touched hers. His thoughts were foggy and cleared just enough for him to feel a bit of shame. He had changed their position so fast without even asking. What if she wasn’t ready? 

“Wait, are you sure?”

“Yes, Cass. I’m sure.” Her eyes looked like her brain was just as foggy as his, and she half sat up, using her elbows to support her weight, to get close enough to kiss him. The kiss was wet and rushed, but not in the same way as their first - her first - had been. It was pure heat and sweat coming together as his torso felt the skin of hers, that song coming alive again. He pulled her leg up, squeezing her thigh just enough for her to moan into his mouth, and positioned himself. She broke the kiss and looked down,  _ at him _ . At his torso and his length. He didn’t think it was possible for his face to flush even more, but it did. Her eyes were fast coming up and down his body, and lingered a bit at his length. It throbbed and ached, moving on it’s own. She opened her mouth as if to say something but gave up, bringing her hands up to his shoulders and pulling him down to her instead. They kissed again, and Cassian realized she would, in fact, be the end of him. He used the hand that was on her thigh to adjust himself, and pressed just a bit against her wetness. His hips moved automatically, taking him every ounce of strength not to thrust in all at once. 

“You’ll tell me…” He said between ragged breaths, “If I’m hurting you.” 

It wasn’t a question. She nodded and resumed kissing him. 

He went in slowly, every inch making his body sing, ache,  _ beg _ for more and more and more. She moaned his name, and his senses all lit up, his head losing control completely as he buried his nose on the curve of her neck and smelled her. He thrust in. Again, and again, and again. Her hips moved with his, setting a fast pace, both of them already so close. He made each move of his hips a bit stronger, getting louder and louder moans from Nesta. He didn’t even realize he was moaning himself until he tried to say her name and his mouth was already busy. He kissed and bit her neck as softly and gently as he could, but it wasn’t enough. He saw a bruise forming on her neck as he lifted his head for a second, and then saw her. Her mouth also bruising from her biting her own bottom lip, and he climaxed with a strong thrust, more violent than he intended or wanted to make it. With that one thrust, Nesta’s own climax claimed her, and their lips moved slower and slower and Cassian filled her, as they both came down from the high. 

Cassian only realized he was shaking when he opened his eyes to see a worried look on Nesta’s face. His arms were each on one side of her head, his hands still clasping the bed sheets. His breath was so uneven he though he wasn’t even breathing. 

“Are you okay?” She asked. Like she should be worrying about him. 

“Are  _ you _ okay?” He looked her up and down, trying to find something wrong. 

“I’m… fine. You’re shaking.” 

“Ah.” He loosened his grip and let himself come out of her, lying beside her on the bed. Her leg immediately coming up to cover his hip. They looked at each other for a while, their breaths evening out. 

“Why?” She asked. He knew what she meant. “I assume you’ve been with many others before me.” 

His cheeks heated up, and he wished he hadn’t. He wished he had waited for her. It would be worth it. 

“You’re different,” he said, not knowing how to explain it. But she frowned and opened her mouth again. “Your smell…” He started explaining before she could ask, “It’s like drinking wine. You make my senses go all over the place.” 

He looked at her in the eyes, and as their eyes met, he felt a force he had never experienced before take over his heart, his mind. It felt like… Like he was being squeezed from head to toe, so hard he couldn’t breathe. As her eyes went wide, he knew she felt it, too. 

When he could breathe again he kissed her bottom lip, then the tip of her nose, her forehead. 

“You’re my mate,” he said, smiling with a happiness he didn’t know it was possible to feel. “That’s why.” 


	2. Nesta's turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As we learned from Feyre and Rhys, accepting the mating bond makes the couple go into a... Streak. Nesta is enjoying herself very much as she discovers just how awesome sex is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is entirely dedicated to Sarah (@nessiansmut) and Bianca (@catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks) and our little Nessian talks.  
> Bianca inspired this greatly with her A court of sin and pleasure gifset.  
> Enjoy!

“You’re my mate,” were the words Cassian had said to explain what had knocked the breath out of her when she looked into his beautiful eyes. Mate. According to what she knew (which wasn’t much), the mating bond was a bond so deep it couldn’t be broken, and the two fae connected by it should love each other deeply. So far it makes sense to her. 

Even though she has eternity to live now, and a few months should feel like a short time, it didn’t, and she did love the black winged idiot. She tried not to. Tried to run from it, to avoid him, but at Starfall… She saw him going up to the balcony, away from everyone’s eyes, she couldn’t not go. Couldn’t not kiss him - even though she wasn’t great at it back then. But he was patient, he was kind and the exact opposite of an idiot with her on such things. She had heard that having sex is supposed to hurt the first time, that the woman is not supposed to like it. But with Cassian, it didn’t hurt one bit. And she  _ definitely _ liked it. 

Yes, mates sounds about right.

They haven’t left this position since the moment happened, hugging in bed looking each other in the eyes, her leg covering his muscled hip, his hand stroking it lazily. She did love this idiot. And, as she very recently found out, she also loved having sex with said idiot. If fact, just thinking about it made her body light up, and it was  _ delicious _ watching Cassian’s expression shift as he picked up on it. He kissed her, using his tongue to part her lips, and she immediately moaned into his mouth. His hand stopped stroking her thigh only to squeeze it, and her own hands tired to find skin to touch. She let them roam through his back, his chest, savoring the feel of the muscles, letting herself get drunk with his taste in her mouth and his shape in her hands. It didn’t take long for her body to ask for more. She moved her hips, trying to find out if that was how Cassian felt as well. He did. He was hard and hot against her, and she kept the movements on an even rhythm, moaning as she felt Cassian against that magical spot. He moaned a few times as well, breaking the kiss to kiss and bite her neck. It sent shivers down her spine. She cursed and he let out a low laugh that had her curling her toes. It was a primal sound, a laugh of satisfaction. She wished she could lick it out of him. 

He  changed positions, easily taking her with him. She was now under him again, and his hands found her arms and navigated them with the fingertips until their fingers intertwined right on top of her head. She arched her back, pressing her body against his, wanting him,  _ needing  _ him. 

“Not so fast,” he whispered, his breath hot on her ear. She did it again, as if to convince him. He ignored it, choosing to kiss her ear, and then her neck, and her shoulder. He let go of her hands only to find her waist, and travel up from there as his mouth went down. Hands met mouth halfway, on her breasts. At first he only pressed his thumbs against the sides of them, then he cupped one with his hand, squeezing - no, not squeezing, massaging it - and licked the other, sucking at her nipple. Her head spun and the moan she let out was loud, shameless. Her head dropped automatically, and she could swear she felt his lips form a smile against her skin. He continued doing it, and changed from one breast to the other, his hand immediately taking his mouth’s place. He did it until she was moving her whole body, completely unable to stay still. 

“Cassian,” she whispered. A request, a plea, and a prayer. 

“Not,” he said, pausing to lick around her nipple. “So.” A kiss below her breast. “Fast.” A kiss on her stomach. She groaned, and he laughed. 

“I have every intention to make you beg,” he said against her skin, as he stopped right above her bellybutton.

She tried to snort, but what came out was a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She opened her mouth and almost did beg. She  _ wanted _ to beg. To be at his mercy. Something told her she wouldn’t regret it. 

“I won’t,” she managed to say instead. A challenge to both of them. His smile told her that’s exactly what he wanted. She smiled right back, trying to make it as wicked as she could. He shuddered and she assumed she succeeded. 

The moment of clarity in her mind slipped right away, though, when his hand came back to her breast, and the other held her thigh. He pulled it up, and she didn’t even have time to feel nervous as he finished his trail of kisses and licked her between her legs. It sent waves of heat over her body, and her hips went up without a thought. Cassian didn’t even seem to notice, his tongue working slowly against her sensitive skin. It swirled around when it came up to that damned spot, then went down, and up, and swirled again. She looked at him and saw his hair, wet with sweat, and from his face only his eyes were visible, looking right at her. He seemed to take in and enjoy every face she made, and, instead of embarrassed, as she thought she would feel, she felt like a goddess; worshiped to eternity and beyond. She shuddered, and Cassian read it as a permission to suck on that spot. She felt every muscle in her body contract as she climaxed and moaned, unable to form any thoughts. He kissed the inside of her thigh until she came down. Not enough to make her too sensitive, but enough to not make her forget the feeling. When her mind cleared she rose her head and torso, supporting herself on her elbows. Again she found his eyes on her, his mouth making small movements on her thigh. When their eyes met, he bit her thigh lightly and smiled. 

“That’s weak,” she said. He laughed. 

“Like to play rough, do you?” He locked her in place with his eyes, like she wasn’t naked enough, like he wanted to peer into her skin. 

“Why don’t you find out?” She said, playful. Nesta understood exactly how Cassian felt when she smiled wickedly at him when she found herself on the receiving end of that smile. His teeth and eyes looked like they would eat her alive as he let go of her thigh and wormed his way up through her body, skin touching skin, until he reached her mouth. She opened it for a kiss, but didn’t get one. Instead, Cassian bit her lip, hard, and pulled at it. It sent all kinds of sensations through her body, and her back arched, making her sensitive breasts touch his. She sucked in a breath and grinded her teeth. Cassian smiled again. 

“Ready to beg?” He asked, lifting an eyebrow. She lay back down, pulling him by the neck to come with her. He offered no resistance, and smiled proudly, as if he expected her to actually beg. 

“I told you I won’t beg,” she said, and this time she wasn’t lying. She ran her hands from his neck up to his hair, pulling it to throw his head back and expose his neck. “Bul I’ll teach you how to bite.” 

She bit his neck hard, and he shuddered; if it was pain or pleasure, she didn’t know. Maybe both. She sucked at the skin, her grip on his hair tightening even more. This time, the shudder came with a moan. Pleasure, then. She smiled, satisfied, and let go of his hair. His mouth found hers quickly, the kiss hot and wet and tasting like both of them. Without breaking the kiss, the tried to turn them. She couldn’t do it alone and Cassian helped, but said nothing. Once on top, she grind her hips again, relieved to stimulate herself, getting rid of all the tension that made her core throb. They both moaned, but refused to back down from their challenge. Nesta went back to his neck, biting and kissing, and he sometimes did the same to hers. Soon they were both a big hot mess, but it was Cassian who yielded.

“Shit, Nesta. Do you really want me to beg?” He asked with difficulty as his hips went up with a bigger force after a particularly hard bite. 

“Yes,” se answered simply, kissing the spot she had just bitten. 

“Then I beg you. I  _ beg  _ you, Nesta. Let me…” 

She didn’t let him answer, as anxious as he was. She lifted her hips, and he brought his hand down to adjust himself as she did the same and went down. She felt every inch of him, moving as slowly as she could. Cassian wasn’t so patient. He thrust up, and she felt the impact on that magical wonderful spot and moaned. She sat up, and experimented with the movements. She moved alone for a while, lost in how good it felt, how her body tingled every time she reached the strong base that was Cassian under her. She moaned lowly, deep in her throat, loving every second of it, her eyes closed the entire time. When she opened them again, the found Cassian up in his elbows, watching her with an intent that burned her very soul. She sucked in a breath at the vision, the sharp sound making Cassian sit up and find her mouth. He licked her lips, bit them, and kissed them, like he couldn’t decide what to do. She adjusted the movements to the new position, her torso glued to his, her hips moving forward and back, instead of up and down. She was surprised that it felt just as good and moaned and the contact between her core and his. The new position stimulated every fraction of skin, and Cassian helped, grabbing her ass tight and pushing it forward. She looked at him, then. And saw the hickeys on his neck, making it look like small bits of the night sky, with the shades of purple and the tiny white spots. 

“You’re fucking beautiful,” she breathed, and it was true. Cassian answered by squeezing her ass with a force that made her stars. Her climax came crashing over her, making her drown and feel dizzy. She moaned, and her body shook from head to toe. Cassian’s own moan answered, and a few more movements later, she felt him spilling inside her, and it felt wonderful and she wanted  _ more _ , but her body gave up, exhausted, and she just let herself be held by her mate, who involved her waist with his arms and lay down, her laying on top of him. She closed her eyes and felt just how sore her muscles were. It felt like her first day of training. 

“I think I’m dying,” she said, feeling soreness and pain in her legs and back. Cassian’s laugh vibrated in his chest, against her cheek. 

“You’re not dying, Nesta. You’re just tired.” 

She smiled and looked up, to find his eyes on her. He was smiling too. 

“We did play it a bit rough,” he said, lifting his eyebrows. 

“Yeah,” she answered. She took a few deep breaths, to find her throat dry. She got up, and her legs were shaking - a lot - but she stood. “I’m going to get some water,” was all she offered as an explanation as she left Cassian’s room to go to his kitchen. She made it a few steps before she felt something dripping down her legs. She felt her cheeks heat up, but continued walking, parting her legs a bit. She was still standing in the kitchen, glas of water in hand, when she heard Cassian coming in and then saw his figure appear on the door. 

“You made a mess in the hallway,” he said, a smile dancing on his lips. “The whole apartment is going to reek of sex now.” 

Nesta only blushed again and turned around not to look at him. She opened her mouth to say she was sorry, but didn’t have time, as he came up behind her so fast she didn’t even process it. He kissed her cheek and his hand found her ass, and slid slowly toward the inside of her thighs. His fingers collected a bit of the dripping mess there, and he let out a breath, the hot wave of air making her shiver. 

“Fuck, I just want to take you right here,” he whispered as he pressed himself against her. She felt him hard against her ass. 

“Do it,” she said, not thinking twice. 

His other hand found her shoulder, and pushed it to bend her against the table. She didn’t resist, and let him have her. If this was what eternity had in store for her, she would gladly accept it. 


End file.
